shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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