I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
