I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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