You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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