its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
