What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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