my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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