About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
