why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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