That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
