please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
