I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
