you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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