Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
