I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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