Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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