Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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