I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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