I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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