i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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