His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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