Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
