you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
