I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
