Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
