she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
