You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
