No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
