So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The best revenge is premature balding
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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