Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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