Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
