I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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