i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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