So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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