If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That accounts for only three of the penises
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Randomize
