Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
