sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She swung at the pinata with crutches
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
