What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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