DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
His nipple licking is glorious
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