I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
