I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
