your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
