When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
