are you still at the devil's house?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think we might need a safe word for this...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
