I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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