I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
