now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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