Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
