I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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