Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my mouth tastes like poor choices
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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