I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
