Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
