she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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