I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
